Fine Tuning Parental Skills is the Most-wanted Medicine for Kids with ADHD

Subtitle: Helping parents to help kids

Lara Honos-Webb, Ph.D., and Xiaodan Xu, Ph.D.

If you are a parent of children with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), ask yourself —

• Do you feel angry when your kids don’t follow your requests?
• Do you feel disappointed when your kids cannot focus on learning and may do poorly during exams?
• Do you feel hopeless when your kids cannot make friends and have sad looks on their faces?
• Do you feel your life is falling apart and the good vibes are gone?

You are not alone.

American parents are facing many challenges as the attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) diagnoses in kids are rapidly growing. In 2011, one in ten U.S. children aged 4–17 were diagnosed with ADHD, which increased by 42% from 2003 (NIMH, 2022). Children with ADHD often face rejections from peers and teachers, get poor academic grades, and have trouble with daily tasks and demands (Lench and Whalen, 2012). Those parents of children with ADHD are often left with more stress, more depression, more negative emotions, and less satisfaction than others. As a result, parents of children with ADHD are facing an increased risk for mental health issues (Lench and Whalen, 2012). On the other hand, the emotional stability and mental health conditions of parents play a vital role for children with ADHD to control their own emotions (Shenaar-Golan, 2017). It is time for us to discuss how to help parents first so that they can better help their kids with ADHD.

Comparison of Existing Treatments

For kids with ADHD, there are different treatment options available. Most of those treatments only involve kids with ADHD and many of the treatment options have their own limitations. Kids with ADHD can get stimulant medications for managing ADHD core symptoms from psychiatrists. However, despite being helpful to improve their behavior and productivity, recent research has shown that ADHD medications do not necessarily improve ADHD students’ grades in school (Pelham, et al. 2022).

This came as a surprise to many families with ADHD children. What are reasonable positive outcomes for parents to hope for? We propose that more positive moods, happier families, improved parent child relationships and positive expectations for the child’s future.

Besides, the most typical side effects of stimulant medications are appetite and sleep difficulties, while some worrisome side effects also include growth suppression, involuntary tics, and cardiovascular changes (Odom, 1996). Although these side effects are generally not long-term and can be alleviated by decreasing the dosage, parents need to be educated on how to properly give medication to their kids and feel less anxious about the use of medication.

Besides taking medicines, behavior therapy is an effective treatment with increasing popularity for ADHD patients. In many cases, behavior therapy helps improve children’s behavior by rewarding appropriate behavior and discouraging inappropriate behavior. Parents of ADHD children are often more satisfied with the effect of behavioral therapy, which addresses both ADHD symptoms and improves other functions (THE AMERICAN ACADEMY OF PEDIATRICS, 2019).

It needs to be emphasized that, based on most recent CDC recommendations, behavior therapy is most effective in young children when it is delivered by parents (CDC, 2022).

“Only therapy that focuses on training parents is recommended for young children with ADHD because young children are not mature enough to change their own behavior without their parents’ help.”

It can mean both good news and bad news for the parents. The good news is that we can start helping our kids from home. The bad news is where to find all the energy and strategies to help our kids in the first place.

Existing Ways/Means to Get Parent Coaching (very limited)

It is always easier said than done to master parenting and emotional control. So, where to get started and find help? If resources permit, the ideal solution is to find a therapist with expertise in ADHD and parent training to assist. However, the potential cost and time commitment may be too much hassle for many families. In addition, since a lot of behavior training is performed in a home setting, it is hard for a therapist to jump in every moment you are in need.

On the other hand, you may find many posts and articles circulating around on the internet, advertising the best tools or applications for ADHD. Unfortunately, those tools, especially productivity tools or time management tools, are not designed for ADHD clients or their families in the first place. A recent article on the best ADHD apps were productivity tools not specific to ADHD (Healthline, 2022). They didn’t consider the reasonable time for ADHD adults to achieve each task, or help them be mentally prepared for real-life challenges.

Productivity tools may be counterproductive for any person who is consistently derailed by intense emotions, or environments that are inherently stressful.

If emotional intensity derails your ability to focus, you may prefer to work on building a peaceful mindset and positive engagement with others before using productivity tools. These tools do not address building relationships between the parents and their child.

A Resource for The Parent-Child Relationship

Bonding Health is an engagement tool that aims to improve the parent and child’s relationship and provides resources that may help you form a healthy bond between you and your kids.

Some families have therapists involved, some are struggling to find access to mental health professionals. Regardless of one’s situation, those who are struggling now with meeting their child’s needs may find our app will help them to better understand what the child is experiencing. These tools may help you effectively engage with your child for a healthier daily routine.

We provide a tool and methodology that may strengthen the parent-child relationship to foster mental wellness at home. When a child is demonstrating ADHD behaviors, parents can understand what the child is experiencing and find helpful ways to engage with the child to improve the outcome. The app may support a parent to find what they could do differently to have more effective connections with their child and more cooperation. If you can listen to your kids and increase your awareness of their behavior, you can anticipate interacting with your child may become easier. You may better help your child, you may have peace of mind and research suggests emotional regulation can improve your work performance as a positive secondary impact (Urquijo,Extremera,& Solabarrieta, 2019).

This tool is not a whole new way to parent or a quick fix. It adds value to your own treatment and wellness plan. These are small steps to repeat many times that have a high potential for benefit.

Dr. Xiaodan Xu attended Georgia Tech, where he studied civil engineering and statistics. She is a trained social scientist and a psychology enthusiast.